Vanilla Ice Cooks Bacon

So I know Pegleg and I have gone rogue recently.

I would like to say we were on some super secret culinary mission or that we were doing some world class traveling in search of new flavors.

The truth is, we’ve been freezing our asses off in the tundra of the Midwest. Sure it’s not glamorous or exciting, at times it’s actually down right gloomy, but we’re doing the best we can.

Now, I could give you a whole slew of excuses to explain my absence. Some of them would be sincere (my real job is retail and it was our most busiest time of the year). Others would be fantastic (I tripped on an old fashioned hand beater I had lying around and broke only my pinky finger, thus making me unable to type).

The truth is, we’ve been busy and quite uninspired. I’ve made quite a few things in the last couple months that have turned out great, however, none of them have been a home run (being a Cubs fan, I’m used to this lacking in my life). The other creations have been less than desirable – Mashed potato cake, Gluten free Pineapple Upside Down Cake – I never said that they lacked in creativity, they just weren’t super tasty.

Also, uninspired is my middle name.

Ever since Pegleg drew her last little mechanical breathe of air, things just haven’t been the same. Sure I love my new little mixer and she’s fantastic, but she just doesn’t have the spunk that Pegleg had. Rendering it difficult to write about. Not to mention, it has taken me forever to name her, making the whole process less personal. I had hoped that I would have a name for her quickly, but sadly, the creative process can not be rushed. And in my case it wasn’t.

But finally – a breakthrough…

On the night before Christmas Eve I put my little mixer to the test and we made a delicious BACON cake. (That’s right – Bacon cake.) Lets face it – everything tastes better with bacon.

And then like a Christmas miracle – angels sang. And then there were trumpets. A name…

For unto you is born this day in the City of Chicago, a Mixer, which will be called Vanilla Ice.

Well the trumpets and angels sounded more like my father’s voice. (He’s got such a good read on people and things.)

The “Ahhhh Moment”: You know, Vanilla Ice is a perfect name. Vanilla Ice took one of David Bowie and Queen’s greatest rifs and made it his “own”. Much like Vanilla Ice, the mixer, will take Pegleg’s place and make the Test Kitchen her own. Vanilla Ice, sadly, never truly lived up to his potential, his performance on the celebrity house show on VH1 is proof of this. Vanilla Ice, the mixer, is a little slow on the uptake, but she’ll do just fine. After further wikipedia investigation, Vanilla Ice also broke free of his contrived image and rose above to be his own person and make his own music. In time, we can expect the same for Vanilla Ice, the mixer.

However, our Vanilla Ice story may never get a full wiki entry because Santa brought me a KitchenAid Stand Mixer and I am SO excited! Now to find her/him a name…(But I’m sure we’ll get to know her a little better soon.)

But without further ado – Here’s Vanilla Ice’s last hoorah! She may not have been with us long, but her time at the helm of the Test Kitchen will not be forgotten.

Brown Sugar Bacon Cake

Ingredients:

1 – Duncan Hines Marble Cake Mix (and the appropriate ingredients according to the packaging directions)
2 lbs of Bacon (i.e. 2- 16 oz packages) – I prefer Oscar Mayer regular bacon. I don’t think the Maple kind would go well, but it might be worth a try. Do not use thick cut, while it’s tastier, there won’t be as many pieces to go around.
8 oz Cream Cheese
1 stick Unsalted butter, melted
1.5 cups Powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup light brown sugar

Directions:

Bake, in the oven, 1 lb. of bacon according to the directions on the packaging. (It should take about 12 minutes at 400 degrees.) Do not make your bacon super crispy. You want it cooked, but not soggy or burnt.

Use paper towels to pat all the grease off the bacon. You’re going to want to do this a couple times to make sure it’s not greasy at all.

Chop the bacon into small bits and set aside.

Preheat the oven according to the directions on the cake mix packaging. Grease 2 9” rounds and line the bottoms with parchment paper for the cake. Following the directions on the packaging, make the cake mix. Before

you add the chocolate batter to marble the cake, sprinkle the bacon chips in the vanilla batter. (Half the bacon chips in each cake.) Add the chocolate cake and marble the layers. Bake according to the directions.

Frosting and embellishments:

Brown Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting:

On medium speed, mix the cream cheese and the butter together until creamy. Add the powdered sugar, ½ cup at a time, and beating until combined. Add the vanilla extract and brown sugar and mix until creamy. The frosting will have a delicious taste and won’t be as sugary sweet as regular cream cheese frosting – it’s a real winner.

Bake, in the oven, the second pound of bacon. Pat all the grease off.

I made 2, 1 layer cakes, but it is possible to make one two layer cake. It’s just a lot of bacon, which isn’t a bad thing.

Frost the layers and cut the bacon into about 1” pieces, not little bit, but not huge strips. Cover the top of the frosting with the bacon pieces.

I LOVE bacon and I LOVE cake and I LOVE brown sugar. This combo is super delicious and as long as you are good about patting the bacon it doesn’t taste greasy. I have made this cake once before, but I used a red velvet cake mix and didn’t put the bacon bits in. I really liked having the bacon in the cake itself and the marble cake was a good mix of sweetness and savory. I still think the red velvet cake mix might be better, but the store was out of stock.

However, this cake is not for the faint of heart (or those worried about cholesterol). I think this cake is fantastic, but there are some people who can’t wrap their heads around the taste/texture. They might come around, but if they don’t – it’s ok by me. That means there’s more for me to partake in.

Vanilla Ice, there is no better way for you to end your reign in Pegleg’s Test Kitchen.

Vanilla Ice/Under Pressure Remix from Fan Boy Films