Java Jive

Genetics…whether we like it or not we’re pretty much stuck with what we’re given. I’ve got some great genes going for me, along with a pretty good character. However, my genetic make up has “blessed” me with being short in stature.

In grade school, if we lined up by height to go to the bathroom or in gym class or at the music recital I was always at the ‘short’ end of the line, being one of the shortest if not the shortest. Because I was so little I was teased quite a bit. (At least that’s how I’ve decided to remember the teasing. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was a little nerdy, or had braces and glasses at the same time, or went through a ridiculously awkward phase, or that my favorite pair of jeans were green. – Green goes with everything. It was all because I was short.) As I got old, I learned how to appreciate my short-comings. I had the smallest hands and my handprint fit perfectly on a 4”x4” square, no one else’s did. I could wiggle my way into the tightest spots to pick up a fallen item. I can still fit into the third seat in the trunk of my parent’s station wagon, but it’s rather uncomfortable. I’ve embraced my height, it just took me a while to get used to it, or grow into it. One of my nicknames in college was Travel Size because I am so little I could fit in random places and was easily packable. (I think I just compared myself to a travel size shampoo.)

Anyway, while I am short, I know for sure there are shorter people out there and while I have become comfortable with the fact that I’m not very tall, I do everything in my power so I do not become shorter/shrink/etc. One of the things I’ve adopted, since I was probably 8, is that I don’t drink coffee. I don’t even really like coffee so it’s not a huge loss for me. However, if you’ve ever been out with me and we have been offered coffee I politely decline, stating that ‘It stunts my growth.’ It is very possible I will not grow again and that my height is here to stay, but on the off chance I have a crazy growth spurt in my future or there is some sort of sudden scientific research, I’m going to steer clear of coffee.

But I know there are people out there that NEED their coffee every day. There are those of you that can drink it at all hours of the day. There are those who can’t start the day without it. There are the people who like their coffee black (like their women – as my father would crassly say) and those who like it super sweet macchiato, caramel, whipped cream with a cherry on top. My co-worker Matt loves his coffee. He drinks a lot of coffee. All the time coffee. Even at 3pm, he has his mug with coffee in it. He had a birthday in August and he gave me free range on his birthday cake flavor. I wanted to make something that I thought he would like and that would encompass his highly caffeinated personality and all around awesomeness. I originally thought of doing a crazy chili chocolate cake of some sort, but settled on the coffee. Coffee’s a little more classic, just like Matt.

Coffee Supreme Cake (Cake adapted from Nestle Toll House's Mocha Buttercream Chocolate Espresso Cake, Frosting adopted from Cake Mix Magic)

Chocolate Coffee Cake Ingredients:
4 oz Semisweet Chocolate, chopped
2 cups All Purpose Flour
1 tsp Baking Soda
½ tsp Salt
1 ½ cup Brown Sugar (I used half light brown sugar and half dark brown sugar)
2 sticks Unsalted Butter, room temperature
4 Eggs
2 TBSP Instant Coffee
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 cup Buttermilk

Filling Ingredients:
25 Snack Size Heath Bars, crushed

Caramel Coffee Frosting Ingredients:
½ cup Unsalted Butter
1 cup Brown Sugar
¼ cup Milk (I use whole milk)
2 TBSP Instant Coffee
3 cups Powdered Sugar, sifted
¾ tsp Vanilla Extract

Cake Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and line with parchment paper 2 – 9” round cake pans. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or placing it in the microwave for 45 seconds. Whether double boiling or microwaving, make sure you are stirring it. (Be careful not to burn it in the microwave!)
Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl.
In a large bowl, beat the brown sugar, butter, eggs, instant coffee, and vanilla until smooth.
Gradually, add the melted chocolate to the sugar/butter mixture until everything is evenly combined.
Beat the flour mixture into the sugar/butter/chocolate mixture in three additions, alternating with the buttermilk.
Bake the cakes for approximately 30 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Frosting Directions:
In a medium saucepan, combine the butter and brown sugar and place over medium heat. Stir mixture CONSTANTLY until it comes to a boil. Once it comes to a boil, add the milk and bring the mixture back up to a boil. (This second boil should happen relatively quickly.) Stir in the instant coffee.
Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the powdered sugar and vanilla. While the frosting is still warm, spread it over the cake.

Assembly:
*Please note – you will make your life a lot easier if you cook your cake first and don’t make the frosting until they are cool since the frosting needs to be spread while it’s warm. Once the frosting cools it becomes quite fudgey.
After the cake has cooled, place one layer top side down on a platter. Lather the top of the bottom layer with half of the frosting. Sprinkle on top of the frosting half of the Heath bar chunks. Place the second layer on top, coat with frosting, and sprinkle the remaining Heath bar chunks on the top of the cake.

There is not enough frosting to cover the sides of the cake, if that’s something you’re interested in make sure to double the recipe and use a slightly larger saucepan. Definitely, sift the powdered sugar, I didn’t and my frosting stayed a little on the chunky side.

This cake is super coffee-y. If you have problems with caffeine and it keeps you up, make sure to use a decaf instant coffee to be on the safe side. But if you are a java junkie it will definitely suit your needs. The Heath bars add a little caramel flavor to it. If the crunch and caramel weren’t there it could potentially have been too overpowering. My co-workers couldn’t get enough of the frosting. It was sweet and thick and the sugar crystals from the powdered sugar melted in your mouth with a big burst of coffee. I’m not even a big coffee fan and I found this cake delicious.

This cake may lead you to have stunted growth if you are a young child, however, if you are not or if you like coffee I recommend it. I was skeptical, but I would make this cake again in a heartbeat. Until then, I will be riding around on Cherry Bomb, my children sized mountain bike from when I was 13, because I haven’t gotten an inch taller since then.

Campfire Classics

We grew up in the great outdoors. Our first family camping trip took place between San Jose, California and Reno, Nevada, and back. (It actually might have been our first American road trip too now that I think about it.) We were visiting our Aunt, Uncle, and cousins who live in Cali. It was quite an adventure for all of us. We rented a big conversion van so we all traveled together and stayed in a couple random camp grounds. We ate A LOT of Ramen, which was perfect because we had never had Ramen before and I didn’t OD on it again until college. So we ate Ramen and went camping and I used all my birthday money to buy Wedding Day Midge, who also came camping with us. Besides seeing tumbleweed for the first time and enjoying trying to wrap my 9 year old arms around a giant redwood, my favorite thing about our entire vacation was sitting around the campfire, telling a round robin story, and eating S’mores.

Our round robin stories always started with someone saying something and then the next person finishing off the thought and adding a new one until a story developed. For some reason, I still remember parts of one of those stories. Part of it might have been because it was SO outrageous and ridiculous or because I have this vivid image of the family sitting around the fire telling it. The main character was Barbie (I was nearing the end of my Barbie age, but she was still a part of our lives at that time) and she chose Peabody to be her boyfriend. (Peabody was one of the boys Barbie could choose in the 1950’s Barbie Prom game, which we played non-stop during that trip as well as a handful of times throughout my childhood. We never had it, but some of my awesome friends and family were the owners of this amazing board game.) There was some sort of accident/problem, but the moral of the story was “Always wear clean underwear when you leave the house because you never know what kind of trouble you’re going to get into.” (My dad may have gotten Barbie and Peabody whacked during that story, but the details are blurry.)

This moral and S’mores have stuck with me for almost 20 years, but this blog is not devoted to my undergarments, so lets move on to the other topic:
S’mores…
Nothing beats the taste of fire burned marshmallows between chocolate and graham crackers – so simple and so delicious.

I’ve dappled in s’more desserts in the past, including some super cute mini graham cracker cupcakes where we toasted the marshmallows over the stove and smashed them in between a halved cupcake with chocolate. They were quite interactive and pretty delicious, however, they weren’t overly complicated and using graham crackers would have been just as easy and delicious. I was also a S'more last year for Halloween, so our ties run deep.

My co-worker Tracy’s birthday was a week ago, and since we work in the outdoor industry I decided to track down a spin on S’mores and make her birthday cake. My friend Lauren sent me a recipe she found online for a S’more cake, so I decided to take my spin on it.

S’more Cake Adapted from Baking Bites
Graham Cracker Cake Ingredients
½ cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup sugar
3 large egg yolks
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups graham cracker crumbs (If you buy a box of graham crackers it’s two enveloped packages so 2/3 of the box)
2 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 cup milk
3 large egg whites

Chocolate Ganache
1 cup Semi-sweet Chocolage Chips
¼ cup Half and Half
2 TBSP unsalted butter
2 TBSP corn syrup

Marshmallow Filling
1 – 7 oz jar Marshmallow Fluff

Graham Cracker Cake
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease 2 – 9” round cake pans with cooking spray and line the bottoms with parchment paper.
In a large bowl mix together the butter and sugar until it’s creamed together. Add the egg yolks and the vanilla.
In a smaller bowl mix together the graham cracker crumbs, baking powder, and salt. Stir in a third of the graham cracker mixture with the butter and sugar, followed by half of the milk, alternating until you end with the graham cracker mixture.
In a separate bowl beat the egg whites to soft peaks.
Fold the egg whites into the graham cracker mixture in two batches, making sure it’s folded in completely with no white streaks.
Divide evenly into pans.
Bake for about 24 minutes until it’s dense and a toothpick comes out clean.
Let cakes cool for a couple minutes before dumping them and let them finish cooling on a wire rack.

Chocolate Frosting
Using a double boiler melt the chocolate chips and butter until smooth. While still under the flame add the corn syrup and stir until combined. Turn the heat off on the double boiler and add the half and half. Stir until smooth. It has more of a ganache consistency than a thick frosting.

Assembly
Place one layer of the cake, bottom side up, on a plate. Spread half of the chocolate ganache/frosting over the top of the bottom layer. Spread the entire layer of fluff on top of the chocolate. The fluff is not easy to spread. It kind of glops on and is a sticky mess.
Stack the next graham cake layer on top of the fluff. Spread the rest of the chocolate frosting over the top of the cake layer. It looks awesome if the chocolate drips down the side of the cake.

I made the cake the night before I took it to work and stuck it in the fridge overnight. Something about the fluff makes it a little volatile. Overnight, the entire top of the cake slid off the top and did not look like the nice stack it had been when I put it in the fridge at night. Because I had stuck it in the fridge, the fluff was not only sticky, but kind of hardened too, which made shifting the top half back onto the cake a little difficult. The cake continued to do this off and on while it was in the process of being eaten. I think it only took 2 days to polish it off…so it wasn’t overly annoying. I’d probably increase the chocolate frosting when I make this again so I can pour the frosting over the fluff as well as underneath it and on the top of the cake. It might help keep the marshmallow encased and help it from sliding. I thought that maybe I frosted the cake while the frosting was too warm and that caused the marshmallow to slide, however, it kept happening so I don’t think that’s the reason.

I know Barbie and Peabody would have loved to go on a date at the soda shoppe and eat S’more cake and I think you’d like it too. Just remember to wear clean undies.

This may not be the most flattering angle...but you get the point. I love S'mores!

Chocolate Chocolate Tart

I’m writing this post as I struggle through a migraine. It may not be as witty, insightful, or enjoyable to read as usual. I’ve been plagued with migraines since college. Sometimes they’re food induced, other times, like today, they’re stress induced. I didn’t even know I was THAT stressed out until I woke up at 5 am with a pounding headache behind my right eye. It just sits there. Hanging out. Wearing out it’s welcome. It’s 10 am and it’s still going strong. Because I’ve had them for years, I try really hard to not let them alter my life/lifestyle. Sometimes I can’t help it, I just have to lie down, other times I have no choice – I have to work through them. On days like today, where the cold Chicago weather that feels like early April, when it is in fact June, I am determined to not let the fact that I can barely concentrate on the typing I’m doing, ruin a perfectly decent dessert that I’m dying to tell you about.

And so we begin…
Last weekend my roommates and I had a little shindig. The weather was much like today’s – cold, rainy, and miserable. But it didn’t matter. We were going to have a party and we were going to BBQ and we were going to raise money for my roommate to run the marathon with PAWS.

Naturally, I’m still trying to get the tart pan to pay for itself, so I decided to make a tart – among other items. I found a recipe on Epicurious for a Chocolate Glazed Chocolate Tart that seemed easy AND delicious. I decided to try it out with a couple modifications (esp. after reading the reviews). The step are easy, timing wise it takes a little long because you have to wait for everything to cool before moving on.

Chocolate Chocolate Tart (modified from Epicurious)
Crust Ingredients:
127 – Chocolate Teddy Graham Crackers (about ¾ of one box) – When ground it should be about 1 cup of Teddy Graham crumbs
5 TBSP Unsalted butter (melted)
¼ cup of sugar

Filling Ingredients:
1 ¼ cup heavy cream
9 oz Semi-Sweet chocolate (chopped)
2 large eggs
1 tsp Vanilla extract
¼ tsp salt

Glaze Ingredients:
2 TBSP heavy cream
1 ¾ oz Semi-Sweet chocolate (finely chopped)
1 tsp Light Corn Syrup
1 TBSP Cointreau

Making it work:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Crust:
Grind the Teddy Grahams in the food processor until the consistency is a fine crumb. Stir in the melted butter and the sugar. Dump into the tart pan and spread the crumbs. Press ¾” (or ¾ of the way) up the side of the pan. I stuck one of my metal measuring cups in the freezer for a couple minutes and then pressed it against the side of the crumbs to help the crumbs get into the grooves.

Bake until firm, about 13 minutes. Cool 15-20 minutes before continuing.

Filling:
Chop the 9 oz of chocolate and place in a medium size bowl. Pour the cream in a pan and place it on top of a burner at medium heat. Bring the cream to a boil. Pour the cream over the chopped chocolate and let it stand for 5 minutes (do not stir it!).

After 5 minutes, gently stir the cream/chocolate mixture until it’s smooth.

In a separate bowl, whisk the eggs, vanilla, and salt together. After they’re whisked, stir them into the chocolate/cream mixture.

Pour your completed filling into the tart crust (as long as the crust is cool). Bake until the filling is set, but that a 3” area in the center is still a little wobbly. About 20-25 minutes.

Let the tart cool completely for about an hour.

Glaze:
Chop the chocolate and set it aside. In a small saucepan bring the cream to a boil. Once it’s boiling, remove from the heat, and add the chocolate. Stir until smooth. Stir in the corn syrup and then the Cointreau. (It will have a strong alcohol smell, but don’t worry it’s not intense with the tart.)

Pour the glaze over the top of the cake. Move the cake around to spread it over the top or use a spatula if you’re not quick enough and it’s already a little thick. Let it stand for an hour before serving or refrigerating.

This tart was more than just chocolate it was intense chocolate. The cointreau in the glaze got lost, because the chocolate was so rich. If you’re only a medium chocolate fan, this isn’t for you. The filling tasted like a rich fudge. I would probably make the crust a little thicker next time, because the edge was my favorite part, the crunch of the teddy grahams with the creamy, dense chocolate. It got rave reviews and while it was time consuming was VERY easy to make. My friend Seth, who doesn’t like desserts very much, LOVED it – so it is for sure a crowd pleaser.

I would definitely have a slew of witty comments and colorful descriptions to add to this, but unfortunately, my headache just wants me to get the basics out. I will leave you with this exciting TV throwback it will make up for my lack of creativity. Click Here.